PIE starting at $27
Veggie toppings 1.00 each.

Meat toppings 3.00 each.

SLICE starting at $5
Veggie toppings 0.25 each.

Meat toppings 1.00 each.

TOPPINGS: Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Canadian Bacon, Mushrooms, Bell Peppers, Onions, Black Olives, Pineapple

Doctor's Orders represents our Personalized Medicine Approach to pizza therapy.

Rather than following standardized protocols, this procedure allows patients to self-diagnose and prescribe their own topping combination from our approved formulary:

Available Compounds:

• Pepperoni (see APPT above)

• Italian Sausage (fennel-enhanced)

• Canadian Bacon (savory porcine)

• Mushrooms (umami enhancement)

• Bell Peppers (vitamin C delivery)

• Onions (aromatic therapy)

• Pineapple (controversial but effective)

• Black Olives (optional brininess)

Patients select any compounds and choose their preferred substrate delivery method: New York Style (thin, crispy) or Pan-Baked Style (thick, substantial). Our technicians then execute the Custom Integration Protocol (CIP), applying toppings according to your specifications.

This is participatory medicine at its finest. We provide the expertise, you provide the vision. Together we create pizza.

TWO SLICES + A DRINK $10

TOPPINGS: Pepperoni, Italian Sausage, Canadian Bacon, Mushrooms, Bell Peppers, Onions, Black Olives, Pineapple

The Slice of Life represents our Comparative Treatment Protocol, a clinical trial designed to help patients determine their optimal pizza therapy.

This procedure includes: Two (2) pizza slices in your choice of New York Style or Pan-Baked Style (can mix both styles), Two (2) topping selections total distributed across both slices, One (1) beverage of choice (hydration supplementation).

Available Compounds:

• Pepperoni (see APPT above)

• Italian Sausage (fennel-enhanced)

• Canadian Bacon (savory porcine)

• Mushrooms (umami enhancement)

• Bell Peppers (vitamin C delivery)

• Onions (aromatic therapy)

• Pineapple (controversial but effective)

• Black Olives (optional brininess)

Think of it as a Double-Blind Pizza Study, except you're fully aware of what you're eating and we strongly encourage bias toward both options. Select two NY slices, two Deep Dish slices, or one of each to perform your own Taste Differential Analysis.

By consuming both specimens in sequence, patients can perform their own Taste Differential Analysis and determine which style triggers maximum dopamine release in their neural reward pathways.

In layman's terms: try different styles and toppings, figure out what you love, then come back and order a whole pie of that.

This is participatory medicine. This is informed consent. This is lunch.

PIE $25‍ SLICE $3

WARNING: This item presents with three concurrent sweet conditions on a single dough substrate. Patients with low tolerance for joy should be triaged elsewhere.

Our S'more-Bidity is a polysweet dessert pie engineered through a two-stage thermal protocol. The crust is partially cooked first, then dressed and finished. This sequence is non-negotiable. A raw base beneath the topping load that follows would buckle, weep, and yield a sodden dessert. We will not be party to that.

The Procedure:

Phase 1: Substrate Pre-Conditioning Our standard house dough (cold-fermented, hand-stretched, the same engineering deployed in our savory pies) is committed to a partial bake. The crust sets, develops preliminary structure, and establishes a stable platform without reaching full color. It exits the oven half-finished, on purpose.

Phase 2: Stratified Topical Deployment The par-baked shell is dressed in a heavy stratum of hazelnut-cocoa cream. Marshmallows are arrayed across the surface in a complete dorsal blanket. Fractured graham cracker fragments are then strewn across the top, settling into the marshmallow gaps and bonding to the hazelnut substrate below. No exposed crust. No half measures.

Phase 3: Controlled Finish Bake The fully assembled pie returns to the deck. Three transformations occur in parallel: marshmallows undergo surface pyrolysis, blistering into a golden crown over a molten interior. The hazelnut stratum beneath warms and loosens into a runny exudate. Graham fragments toast in place, deepening in flavor and acquiring the characteristic snap that distinguishes a properly heated graham cracker from one merely scattered cold. All three toppings converge on a fully cooked crust simultaneously.

Sliced and served warm. Consumed with hands or fork depending on patient dexterity and pride.

Clinical Trial Results: 100% of subjects requested an additional slice. A statistically significant subset requested it before completing the first.

If symptoms manifest (sticky fingers, mild euphoria, residual chocolate near the mouth), this is the intended therapeutic response.

$3 EACH

WARNING: May induce paroxysmal grinning, compulsive resupply requests, and the misguided conviction that one cookie was sufficient.

Our Chocolate Crash Cart Cookies are produced under a protocol that prioritizes moisture retention, fat integrity, and chocolate variability over the convenience of standardization. We could cut corners. We don't.

The Procedure:

Phase 1: Controlled Lipid Liquefaction Butter is rendered to a liquid state at the lowest available heat. No sizzle, no crackle, no boil. The lipid simply oozes into solution. This sub-boil melt preserves the water content (which would otherwise vaporize under aggressive heating and leave the cookie arid). The molten butter is then married to brown and white sugars, eggs, and vanilla, with a calibrated saline component (salt).

Phase 2: Thermal Acceleration with Premature Extraction Portioned dough is subjected to 360°F for 10 to 12 minutes. Cookies are extracted at the precise moment tops crack and edges turn lightly golden while centers remain visibly underset. They finish coagulating during a mandatory 2-minute convalescence on the hot pan before transfer to a wire rack. A finishing application of sea salt is administered while the surface is still tacky.

Contraindications: May produce chocolate residue on fingers, crumb dispersal across upholstery, and an inability to halt at one. If cookie cravings persist, return to Flatline Pizza for additional treatment.

• SPECIALTY INFUSION
  1 bottle $2.50
  Lime, Mandarin, Guava, Pineapple